Tori & Phil

Tori and Phil have been fostering in Gloucestershire with Community Foster Care since 2013. With no children of their own, they wanted to offer a home and sense of hope to young people who, through no fault of their own, found themselves in care.

Tori and Phil had always dreamed of becoming parents. Unfortunately, they were met with a lot of challenges to achieve this dream.

“We always wanted to be parents – we knew that. But I’d had four miscarriages. Then we had IVF treatment. I finally got pregnant but our little girl Maddie died when she was one day old,” Tori says.

After their devastating loss, they researched into adoption, but that came to nothing.

“We decided to look at fostering. The Community Foster Care website was pink. We rang and they answered straight away. Someone came around to see us really quickly and she was brilliant.

“She told us we’d make perfect foster carers. We thought ‘Wow!’ After all those years of wanting children and being rejected, suddenly someone was saying ‘yes’.”

Finally, after years of rejection and hardship, Tori and Phil’s dream of parenthood was becoming a reality.

“We thought ‘Wow!’ After all those years of wanting children and being rejected, suddenly someone was saying ‘yes’.”

The couple’s first child was a 17-year-old boy who came for a respite weekend. Then along came a 10-year-old girl as a short-term emergency placement. Now Phil and Tori are carers to a boy who arrived as an emergency placement at 2 am one Sunday with a carrier bag full of belongings and never left.

He has brought them so much joy and fulfilment as Phil says, “He has taught us so much, he reminds me of what I was like as a child. Christmas with him was fab. He said it was the best he’d ever had. Whatever happens, he will be part of our family forever. We will always be there for him.”

The couple’s three cocker spaniels, Dilly, Dotty and Daisy, are a big part of their home in Brockworth and have been an instant hit with the children who have joined them.

“The dogs give them love, which is an essential ingredient for children who haven’t had much of it in their lives”.  

Tori worked as a Support Worker for people with disabilities for over ten years, so she knows how to get the best out of children who have had a difficult time. Her thoughts are that “Every child is different. They can put up a lot of barriers to protect themselves. It takes time to gain their trust. But when you get that trust, that first ‘thankyou’, or a laugh and a hug – it’s priceless. You have to know when to put your foot down and when to give them space.”

Phil adds, “If we can make a difference to a child’s life and change an outcome that was looking bleak, so they are safe and can become a valued member of the community, that’s what it’s all about. We want to offer them hope.”

They are pleased that they chose Community Foster Care.

“CFC is amazing. We couldn’t have chosen a better agency. We get lots of training and review meetings and more support than we ever thought. Our social worker is brilliant – he fights tooth and nail for us,” said Tori.

Their advice for those who are considering fostering is “If you have patience and you enjoy mothering and fathering, and you want to make a difference to a child’s life, then go for it.”