Kirstin & Rob

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When she was a teenager, Kirstin swore she’d never become a foster carer. Her parents, Sue and Iain, have fostered more than 150 children at their home near Maryport whilst she was growing up, and it seemed too much like hard work.

Now Kirstin and her partner Rob have one grown up child of their own, and have fostered a number of children including two siblings. The pair have been fostering in Cumbria with Community Foster Care since 2011.

“We couldn’t imagine life without them,” said Kirstin.

“When I was growing up, there were always three or four cared-for children in the house as well as my brothers and sister. I never knew anything different. It was always busy, but it was hard work for my parents and they needed so much patience.”

Kirstin and Rob changed their minds about fostering when their daughter was 12.

“We discussed whether it would be feasible and once we’d sorted it out in our heads we spoke to our daughter. We had to make sure it was the right time for her – she was a big part of the decision process,”.

“She’d always lived around fostering because of her nanny, and we’d all been on holidays with cared-for children. She said it would be good to have brothers and sisters – we hadn’t realised that it might be something she was missing.”

The couple approached Community Foster Care, as Kirstin’s mum fostered with CFC at the time, and after going through the training and foster care assessment process, Rob and Kirstin welcomed two children into their home on long-term placements.

“Two years on they are definitely part of the family. All three children get on just like every other set of siblings – they have good days and bad days, but mostly good.” (Kirstin, 2012)

Rob who worked as a demolition foreman, admits he was a bit daunted at first. But he gave up his job and became a hands-on foster carer, doing the school run, taking the children to sports events, and attending parents’ evenings.

His view of being a foster carer is uncompromising: “I can honestly say that foster caring is the most rewarding career I’ve ever had,” he said.

“It’s difficult for cared-for children to fit in sometimes, so we try to make their lives as normal as possible. They’re really happy and doing well at school. It’s good to see them achieving different things and having friends”.

“When [they] come running down the stairs on Christmas morning, seeing their eyes light up and the grins across their faces – it’s wonderful.

“When they leave home and go and do their own thing that will be another reward.”

In the early days, Rob and Kirstin relied a lot on Kirstin’s mum for advice.

“I learned a lot from her without realising it – things like patience, consistency, and making sure that no one is left out. I hear myself saying some of the things that she used to say all the time.

“We ring her if there’s something we’re not sure about and she always has the right answer.”

The couple also have constant support from the cared-for children’s social worker and from Community Foster Care. Rob goes to a monthly support group with CFC. Kirstin is launching her own vintage clothing business from home which means she can fit work around family life.

“We basically wanted to give someone the opportunity in life that we had – love and care in a family home. It’s very mad – but it’s never boring,”.

Their advice to others who are considering fostering is to go and find out about it.

“There are lots of foster carers out there who can give a realistic view of what it’s like. If anyone were to ask me, I’d say it’s not a job but a vocation. It’s taking responsibility for someone else’s life so it’s not a decision to be taken lightly. Being a foster carer is hard work but incredibly rewarding.”

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